get all poems workin, get semantic search workin, get thoughts section working

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2024-06-02 19:01:57 -04:00
parent de9cccabda
commit 2faf292aab
168 changed files with 3204 additions and 31 deletions

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-01-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Humor
title: Afternoon
layout: poetry
---
I spent three quarters
On a whole cookie
To hear its half-baked
Two cents.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-03-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Friendship
- Toxic
title: Asphyxiate
layout: poetry
---
I stopped myself
To take a breather,
But I took it far too late.
My reluctant lungs
Could hardly handle
The second-hand sadness
Yours create.
Each blessing that falls
Into your hand
Soon meets its match
And asphyxiates.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-12-11 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Instrospective
title: Atmospheres
layout: poetry
---
Your soul walks the plank
Once your journey begins.
It first could only sink,
But soon learned to swim.
You picked up the pace
At the sight of life's fins,
Headlong and headstrong
Until your head spins.
Your childhood caught up
And took you back under
To remind you
Of the depths
Your soul sunk
While you were younger.
The atmosphere was heavy already,
But now the pressure's compounded.
The soul remembers
Its early cries for help
And cries again
To find its fears unfounded.
We need others
To lift us
Once our siren
Has sounded.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-08-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Nostalgia
- Doubt
- Habits
- Smoking
- Chattanooga
title: Bad Behavior
layout: poetry
---
Do you happen to have
A cigarette I could bum?
Just to hold in my hand
To help reminisce some
To bring me back to a time
When I had it all together
And the worst of my worries
Was exploring Minecraft's Nether.
In fact, could I please
Borrow your lighter as well?
I won't actually smoke it;
I promise to not inhale.
Just the act of smoking
Puts my mind at ease
And places it in Bear Creek
Enjoying the summer's breeze.
But I've come this far already,
So I think I'll take just a puff
With one good hit of nicotine
I'm sure I'll find to be enough.
I'll savor its flavor
Of late-night party favors
And quick, justified breaks
Between writing papers.
And just like back then,
It seems I still need a Savior
And a few more cigarettes
Before I break this bad behavior.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2012-01-11 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
- Creation
title: Booming Voice
layout: poetry
---
Silent explosions amidst the stars.
Booming voices that created Mars.
Yet Earth only his finger is placed
And filled it with creatures the devil faced.
All of creation has now withered
Thanks to the one who now slithers.
But a complex plan has been made,
And ages later death is slayed.
God is never seen yet is all-seeing
Of all the actions of human beings.
His guiding voice amidst speeding cars
Now leads our souls beyond the stars.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-01-09 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Metaphor
- Realtalk
- Wisdom
title: Catch Up
layout: poetry
---
To your disbelief,
This moment passed.
You chased it down,
But it runs too fast.
It's one step ahead
In the wrong direction
Until you're lost
In imperfection.
==
To your relief,
This moment passed.
But you couldn't run
From its aftermath.
You sought out shelter
But had to keep moving
After planting the flowers
You'd never see blooming.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-01-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
title: Celestial Stare
layout: poetry
---
God and I locked eyes,
But it's hard to look into the face of whom you fear.
So instead, I gazed at the throne beneath Him;
The ulterior motive for my wicked heart to draw near.
God himself broke the stare as well,
For it's hard to look into the face of a disappointing son.
So instead, he gazed at Jesus within me
Who's changing my heart 'til we hold staring contests for fun.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-02-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Night
- Secrets
title: Closets
layout: poetry
---
Have you a fear of the dark
As I have of the light?
I'm afraid of what tomorrow
Will reveal of tonight.
A new skeleton is forged,
Tucked away from your sight.
But I'm running out of doors
That I may keep locked tight.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-02-15 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
- Faith
- Conviction
title: Congenealogy
layout: poetry
---
I can tell by your withering leaves
And dwindling fruits,
Your outstretched branch
Has lost touch with its roots.
You have overextended
To give wind its due chase,
But the rush that you seek
Will destroy you posthaste.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2021-03-16 08:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christian
title: Contingency
layout: poetry
---
Told at a young age
That you're totally
Depraved,
Yet still a nominee
To receive
Eternity.
O, hallelujah,
You hypochondriac.
O, hippocampus,
Remember what you lack.
Told at a young age
You'll be called up
On stage.
If you don't like your task,
Just ask that this cup
Might pass.
O, Adonai,
Save the spotlight for me.
On you, we rely
To believe we're worthy.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-04-15 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Love
- Consciousness
title: Daydreaming Thomas
layout: poetry
---
I sort of spaced out
Into an ethereal dream
While she fell back
Into her usual routine
Of noticing
Amidst the material
That
Which my eyes have never seen.
She ponders for a bit in confusion
The possible reasons for my doubt,
But it's the subject of possibility
The inexplicable mind can't figure out
As I soar above the tops of buildings
And dive into the Atlantic ocean
With uncanny buoyancy I believed
As just another preconceived notion
Until I cast that fact
Into the back
Of the recycle bin
After I break
The REM cycle
And consciousness
clocks back in.
And still you ask
Why I've yet
To fall in love again?

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-05-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Doubt
- Atrophy
title: Despondent
layout: poetry
---
The holy spirit
Filled your lungs
At one point.
Now its either
American
Or rolled joints.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-24 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Religion
title: Down
layout: poetry
---
I wish that you were down like me.
To both clown around
And fall apart at the seams.
To take life by the horns
As you shout "C'est la vie!"
To melt in its fire
Then break the mold as you leave.
To cut through the crap
To see if the world bleeds
And once we find it doesn't,
Figure out how it still stings.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2011-01-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Dreams
- Advice
title: Dreams Spill
layout: poetry
---
When you wake up,
Be sure to lay still
Lest your dreams spill
Out like a cup
From a drink offering.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-09-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
- Silence
title: Elephants
layout: poetry
---
Silence speaks louder than words
At a decibel too loud to be heard
As an abrupt disruption of nothin'
For our conversation consumption.
Its presence is chilling
And instant buzz-killing
Yet still we act
As if it's not there.
Our tongues are untied
As the silence subsides
Yet still its message
Hangs heavy in the air.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-15 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: Enmity Amnesiac
layout: poetry
---
Don't worry!
I've got your back.
I'm an enmity
Amnesiac.
Each stab of yours
Only lowers my standards;
You can't trust a kid
To mind their manners.
Until I found my standards
Couldn't go any lower.
The thermometer couldn't measure
The sheer coldness of your shoulder.
Your rain turns into sleet
Each time you protest my parade
By singing along to hate speech
And calling it a serenade.
You'll still find in me forgiveness;
You'll only lack a lot of trust.
I believe in endless second chances
To break the chains of the unjust.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-01 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
title: Fear And Trembling
layout: poetry
---
Where did you go?
I was told to follow, and so I followed,
But now it seems that I'm all alone.
Our footsteps have been washed away.
Leaving me without proof, or a path back home.
I looked away for just one moment,
Which is all it took for you to disappear.
Were you just an imaginary friend
Whom I outgrew over the years?
You had my back.
But maybe you were only
Fulfilling a maintenance request.
Because a wall was built.
It does its job, and you've done yours,
So now the carpenter has left.
Are you a social psychosis
Which we invent
In our times of need?
A necessary neurosis
In order to cope with
The imperfect lives we lead?
Even now,
While I shiver as the air thins and grows colder,
I swear,
I can feel your hand now resting on my shoulder.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-01-15 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Lies
- Wisdom
- Introspective
title: Fool Yourself
layout: poetry
---
You knew that they were joking,
But over time, the lies took root.
It's a belief you couldn't shake
Without their "fate" becoming Truth.
You are as they say,
And they've said quite a lot.
The more you fight against it,
The more that must be fought.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-04-28 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Love
- Humor
title: Foolish Heart
layout: poetry
---
How redundant.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-04-29 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: Fraudulent Charges
layout: poetry
---
His fear of the unforeseen arose,
Which he thought t'was vanquished long ago.
Alas,
He found his faith in illusion:
A financial foundation
To cope with confusion.
Words and the wind
Could now freely hold sway
With the worst of his worries
The most willing to stay:
"Worthless are you,
Workaholic Anonymous!
Heartless are you
To become autonomous!"
They raged until
He raised himself
Back up from the ground.
"I hear you, wind.
I hear you, words."
Until he heard
Only sound.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-01-21 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
- Realtalk
- Wisdom
- Worry
title: Get A Grip
layout: poetry
---
The future doesn't need me yet,
yet,
Yet I wish I was there now,
now,
Now the past will not forget,
get,
Get a grip if you know how,
How,
How?

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-04-19 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christian
title: Good Lord, Good Friday
layout: poetry
---
The priests cried, "Prophesy!"
After Jesus confessed his plan.
"Who gave this man the right
To sit at Gods right hand?"
The crowd cried, "Crucify!"
After Pilate met the King of Jews.
"What has this man done
To deserve such abuse?"

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-02-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Haiku
- Terror
title: Haiku 12
layout: poetry
---
It still trickles down
Long after the winds swept through.
Tears outlive terror.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-06-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Wisdom
- Haiku
title: Haiku 13
layout: poetry
---
When you tell a lie,
You tell the truth about you
And your character.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-02-05 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Walking
- Haiku
title: Haiku 14
layout: poetry
---
He walks a long ways.
He would have ran, but running
Is conspicuous.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2012-02-22 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Haiku
- Wind
title: Haiku 3
layout: poetry
---
We're in a hurry.
Now by watching us humans,
The cold wind is too.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2013-03-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Haiku
- Humor
title: Haiku 4
layout: poetry
---
I wish I could draw.
Picture's worth a thousand words;
This has just fourteen.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-09-26 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Haiku
- Silence
title: Haiku 7
layout: poetry
---
You may interchange
My middle name with either
Silence or solace

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@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-09-26 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Haiku
- Humor
- Grounds
- Covenant
title: Haiku 8
layout: poetry
---
It is all folly!
The grass withers, flowers fade,
But the weeds still grow.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-05-15 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Love
- Friendship
- Covenant
- Nostalgia
title: Homie
layout: poetry
---
After we had passed around our time
Like a handout from a middle school teacher
Which left us as curiously disinterested
As the typical middle school kid-creature,
I had begun to realize we all had fun
While I analyzed the past
That I hold beneath my beanie.
With the help of Aladdin's nameless genie,
Tupac, and the also-immortal Houdini,
I relived the photos we claim
Frame us as fresh as a French Martini.
And if you don't believe me,
Well, I'd be quite surprised,
Considering the retina-rays,
Which flashed such a look
From behind your eyes
To broadcast the current thought
That's now crossing your mind
Which you'd otherwise only tell
To your roommate, pet, and/or the Lord divine.
You remember the fun we had, too.
Well, besides the homework, and exams,
And the whole "Hell freezing over"
Which couldn't stop our professor's plans
To take down our GPA's
And No-School snow days.
Comradery through common enemy.
Tomfoolery as tedium's remedy.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-11-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
- Advice
title: How To Learn
layout: poetry
---
Knowledge is a splatter of color
Across the canvas of your brain
To gradually form a masterpiece
With every splatter you gain.
But these splats are not simply skills and facts,
Else you're left with but reds and blues.
For hidden within every facet of life,
Will you find colors of every shade and hue.
But an expansive canvas is required
If you're to create a work of art.
For only to those with a humble mind
Will life have knowledge to impart.
Look at matters from a new perspective,
See the colors others have to show.
Close up not your mind to wisdom;
It's hard to learn if you think you know.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-05-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: How To Tell A Good Joke
layout: poetry
---
If you promise not to tell, I have heard a good rumor:
Wisdom walks hand in hand with good humor.
If you're sworn to secrecy, then let it be known:
Let not a word spoken compel nature to groan.
If words of wisdom you believe you can afford,
Then lend me your ear: Your tongue is a sword.
If your lips are sealed, then read from this scroll:
What comes out of your mouth reveals your soul.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2013-04-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
- Realtalk
title: Ill With Want
layout: poetry
---
I could travel across the land
Searching far and wide,
But the grass will still seem greener
On the other side.
I could be surrounded by people who love me
Yet still feel I don't belong.
I could think I'm a terrible person
Despite how often told I'm wrong.
I could accomplish several amazing feats
Yet still believe I'm inadequate.
I could try my best to be nice
Yet still remain the Devil's Advocate.
I could conquer all of Earth
Yet still wish for Jupiter and Mars.
I could conquer the milky way
Yet still wish upon other stars.
Cause there's an endless wave of want in the air
So what I want I can never obtain.
Every attempt leaves a feeling of despair
As I'm reminded of my ball and chain.
They say that Jesus is the answer
And I know that I am God's child.
Why, then, during my best days
Can I sometimes find no reason to smile?
This is the impossible riddle of Life
That happens to plague all of our minds.
There is no answer that will suffice
Until we're in heaven, body and mind refined.

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---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-03-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Clever
- Wisdom
title: In Retrospect
layout: poetry
---
Countless information's unaccounted for
The second the moment has passed.
The details you do retain are blurred
And the retention itself won't last.
The data chosen to be collected
Is picked by your values and beliefs.
Who's to know
If the changed past guarantees
The desired outcome's
Probability to increase?
(And what of
The endless repercussions it's released?)
In essence,
To put it bluntly,
Hindsight
Is not 20/20.

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@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-07-08 16:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: Inept
layout: poetry
---
You can call it unfair.
Is that your final decision?
Inaction is still an act
Oft' deserving derision.
You can say it's no use.
Is that all you can teach?
The complacent are useful
To their ongoing siege.

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@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-10-29 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: Inner Peace
layout: poetry
---
What's the point of looking forward
If the future crumbles upon arrival?
There's no such thing as heartache;
The mind creates it for survival.
Once you dash your expectations,
You'll be untethered from the lie
That your inner peace depends upon
The fleeting forces from outside.

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@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-02-23 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
- Wisdom
- Worry
title: Inside Insight
layout: poetry
---
I pine not
For grass or trees.
This pane of glass
Looks fine to me.
Ever present
Is every present
Presented as the moments pass.
Where last is first
And first to class.
First to thirst
For half-full glass.
Fully free
To see worry
As irrational
Impossibility.
For the soul you hold
Can be sold for gold;
You otherwise can't lose control.
Might lose a limb.
Might lose a friend.
Might loss matter
When your matters end?

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@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ tags:
- Neuroscience
- Wisdom
title: Judge Judy
layout: poetry
---
With each passing moment,

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@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2021-10-19 15:30:00 +0000
tags:
- realtalk
- advice
- relationships
title: Jungle Ghosts
layout: poetry
---
You claimed to keep us
In your heart.
Are you surprised
To find it scarred?
What better way
To leave our mark?
For our hearts were shattered,
You natural disaster,
In your endless search
For the greenest pasture.
Learn to tend the fields
Already in your care.
It takes some time to yield
The produce growing there.
The city will sustain you
Wherever you may roam,
But what wonders
Will you build
Without a place
To call your home?

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@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ tags:
- Chess
- Lessons
title: King's Pin
layout: poetry
---
You placed my king

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@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ date: 2014-10-27 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Humor
title: Klepto Couches
layout: poetry
---
My home houses countless couches.

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@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-09-20 16:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Neighbors
- Shame
title: Lawncare
layout: poetry
---
The neighbors watched
Our grass grow
As they gossiped about
Us riffraff.
We tried our best
To lay low,
But still felt the scorn
In each laugh.
Even our own
Brought a sense of shame
With no one to blame
On our behalf.
Parsimony
Parts the lonely
Until one has
The last half.

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@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ tags:
- Grounds
- Covenant
title: Leafblower
layout: poetry
---
You're the girl sitting on the park bench.

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@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-07-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Wisdom
- Short
title: Looking Good
layout: poetry
---
When things
Are looking good,
You tend
To your mirror.
But the clarity
You seek,
You'll find
To be inferior.

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@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-10-16 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Life
- Advice
title: Loose Change
layout: poetry
---
You've gotta stay loose
Like change
Before you're torn
When the goods exchange
For the better
For the worse.
To be used
To the best
Is a curse.
This might not make sense
Or cents
Or millions,
But hindsight's a pretense
At the expense
Of resilience.
Take the tumble
For the worst
Is much better
Than whatever
Your temptors
Purport.
I can change
Thanks to change.
Otherwise,
Remain
And sell short.

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@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-11-02 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Wisdom
title: Lost Connection
layout: poetry
---
We live
Well enough alone,
So we left ourselves
Alone.
Our words
Might suggest otherwise,
But our actions
Are what's shown.
We share
Electromagnetic waves
But it might take
A million years
For massless particles
At the speed-of-light
To connect us to our peers.
We curse
Our WiFi connection
The moment
We lose reception,
But it takes some time,
And a few Doing Fine's
Before loneliness
Gets your attention.
We cognitively
Know this well,
Yet our bodies
Still cannot tell.
The modern man
In a tribeless land;
Evolution
Is confused as hell.

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@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-06-22 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: Make Your Move
layout: poetry
---
Men are meant to move
Lest we wither and waste away
As we wade out in the ocean
In need of a crescent wave.
If you refuse to be moved,
You will sink like a stone.
But if you catch a wave,
You'll see you're not alone.
For we are all mostly water,
Each cell gasping for fresh air.
So why not splash into a wave?
We are waiting for you there.

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@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-06-20 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Love
title: Makeup
layout: poetry
---
I'm not too good with faces,
But I've faced you for so long.
I know when your hair changes
And how much makeup you've put on.
When we're under too much pressure,
We protect each other from harm.
For our bond will never sever
As we weather each other's storm.

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@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-13 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Religion
title: Mental
layout: poetry
---
Mistakes are meant to be made
And mended.
Miracles mistake the mundane
For transcendence.
Brains were built to buffer
The sadness
Until it makes up miracles
From madness.

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@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ date: 2019-10-26 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Wisdom
title: Of Molecules And Men
layout: poetry
---
May we lose

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@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ tags:
- Grounds
- Covenant
title: Monday Morning Shift
layout: poetry
---
These plants look beautiful, but not at this location.

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@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@ tags:
- Worry
- Self-conscious
title: Morning Commute
layout: poetry
---
A few minutes into my morning commute

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@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-06-16 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
title: Mother Mary (John 2:5)
layout: poetry
---
O, mother Mary,
Is your heart full of regret?
You let him know
The wine's run out,
But his time's not come just yet.
Or, mother Mary,
Is your heart now full of joy?
"He let me know
What will be done,
So servants, obey my boy."

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@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-04-21 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Self-conscious
title: Nervous City
layout: poetry
---
You peered into my presence
Without my permission.
I happened to take notice,
Which gives form to superstition.
Now my thoughts follow laws
That only I can enforce;
If you continue to trespass,
I'll steer you back on course.

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@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2012-03-15 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- School
- Realtalk
title: New Student
layout: poetry
---
Please present yourself to the class
By sharing none of your secret past
Tell us your residence, your aspirations,
Your chosen major's concentration,
And maybe some more background knowledge
As to why you're attending this specific college.
But anything more is unnecessary
I mean, who cares your birthday's in February?
We learn not by the things you say
But by the image you portray
From the way you walk, talk, and stare
And the ridiculous length of your untamed hair
Learning any more is unnecessary
Learning any more is a little too scary

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@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-01-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: New Year's Retribution
layout: poetry
---
Our past predicts how prone we are
To repeat our mistakes in the present.
New Year resolutions are made
To prove ourselves convalescent.
Never again shall we regress
Back to our frail and Fallen state.
Instead, transform into super humans
Gaining skills and losing weight.
Only then will we be pleased
With who we see in the mirror.
On the contrary, oft' we find
What harms us, we hold dearer.
And so the cycle repeats itself
As our resolutions are broken.
Still, I vow to write more next year
Despite what has just been spoken!

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@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-08-10 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: Nonsilent Violence
layout: poetry
---
When you speak,
Our ears must listen,
Whether or not
Our mind attends.
Your vocal cords
Disturb the air
Which strike more drums
Than you might intend.
So I walked away
In search of Quiet,
But my mind was troubled
By the sounds it made.
I echoed them
Into the air
And saw each branch
Throwing their shade.

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@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-01-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: Note To Self
layout: poetry
---
Take a few bets
That can't be won.
Accomplish a task
That can't be done.
Face the fears
That can't be outrun.
Be a guiding light
When we've lost sight
Of the sun.

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@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-06-28 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Faith
- Christianity
- Friendship
title: Nothing To Lose
layout: poetry
---
You can't be let go
Once you've clung to the truth.
With your treasures in heaven,
You've got nothing to lose.
Now free to live out your life
With nothing to prove
Save for the love in your heart
You long to share with your crew.

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@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-12 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: One of Six (or Sick of Six)
layout: poetry
---
Every now and then, I detach
From the talking and the laughing.
My skull splits in two
So that my right hemisphere
Can peer into the left:
It finds my younger self, sobbing,
For he cannot speak up
And air his grievances
Lest he inconveniences
A heavily burdened family.
The grief drips down his bronchial tubes
And festers.
We thought we would grow out of it.
But the grief grew
As we watched its roots wrap around our ribs.

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@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-08-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Fiction
- Story
- Mystery
title: Original Intent
layout: poetry
---
The author read
The words she wrote
And swore each word
Together spoke
A different message
Than initially penned
In a tone reminiscent
Of a familiar friend.

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@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-07-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Music
title: Out Of Sync
layout: poetry
---
I heard the song
Held within your heart
And gave my best
To play its leading part.
But I could neither
Determine the key,
Nor predict
Its syncopated beat.

19
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@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-05 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Introspective
title: PDA
layout: poetry
---
If you don't mind, please keep your love away.
For my heart breaks from this public display.
You see, mine believes its love is lacking
So yours reminds mine of its walls cracking.
But if you do mind, that is just as well;
An out-of-reach heaven prepares you for hell
Where you're better off carving your disdain
Until there's only joy for another soul's gain.

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@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ tags:
- Drinking
- Humor
title: Perfect Situation
layout: poetry
---
When I'm hammered,

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@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-08-06 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Religion
title: Personify
layout: poetry
---
There was no Word.
Only chaos
That echoed into patterns.
It is the same now
As it was back then,
Except we patterns
Can now think we matter.
For quantum tried its best
To coalesce chaos into complexity
And it is still hard at work
To personify even the galaxies.

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@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-09-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Wisdom
- Short
title: Perspective
layout: poetry
---
I saw a side of myself
That I never expected
By taking a look
From anothers perspective.

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@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-02-21 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Love
title: Pixel Pusher
layout: poetry
---
She paints in pixels.
Permanent.
They can be changed,
Or erased,
But won't.
That's not the point
Of presenting points.
You present the full picture.
Or don't.

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@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-09-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Mediator
title: Placate
layout: poetry
---
It's not my place
To placate.
To somewhere safe,
I vacate.

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@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-03-09 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christian
title: Pointed Question
layout: poetry
---
You declared,
Again,
"It's either
Us
Or
Them."
But lines
Blur
And
Bend
When it's
Us
For
Them
I Already
Forgot
The question.

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@@ -0,0 +1,37 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-05-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Racism
- History
- Chattanooga
title: Post Civil War Chattanooga
layout: poetry
---
This post-civil-war-torn-town
Gave refuge
To the shackled and bound.
This town's river bubbled
With hope from beneath
To attract the outcast
And mask the town's deceit.
Traffic soon birthed
To industrial sound.
Its booming business
Broke the backs
Of the beaten down.
Jim Crow rose
To further ostracize
And whiteout the spots
Missed by redlines.
This town's river bubbled
With sewage from beneath.
Today's gentrified waters
Taste just as bittersweet.

15
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@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-01-11 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Short
- Christianity
title: Pure
layout: poetry
---
Give him your chaos,
He'll give it a form.
Take all that you will,
He'll create even more.

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@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-04-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Vices
- City
title: Quarter-Life Crisis
layout: poetry
---
There's nothing better
Than a quarter-life crisis.
At the peak of your prime,
Catching up on lost time,
Fighting off vicious vices
By keeping yourself busy
And taking in all of the city
Without a care
For what its price is.
So long as you're no longer
Left to your own devices.

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@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2021-09-02 09:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Vices
title: Quenchless
layout: poetry
---
The only
Drink that quenches
Dulls the senses
Until
All discretion
Is lost.
What
Enabled this dependence?
My college attendance?
Is that their
Accreditation's cost?
Is it
The fault of my genes?
A man who
Couldn't stay clean
Then passed down
The ~~bottles~~ battles he lost?
Or was it
My lack of socializing
That kept me subsidizing
Charisma
With each drink
I came across?

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@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-09-24 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Life
title: Recollect
layout: poetry
---
The television blared at a volume
That I could hardly handle,
But you were sound asleep
As if such sounds could hold no candle
To whatever sublime sounds
Your subconscious wished to hear;
So I watched the rest, and watched you rest,
As I sipped another beer.
There goes another little memory
That neither of us can share.
If I add mine up,
And add yours up,
Will it be enough to care?
My smartphone delivered multimedia
Directly into my eyes and ears
Until the audiovisual stimuli
Had me breaking out in tears;
So I wished to share this moment
But could only share with you a link
And received a couple of emoticons
To reveal what you felt and think.
There goes another little memory
That neither of us can share.
If I add mine up,
And add yours up,
Will it be enough to care?
You spoke to me at length on a subject
That you enjoy with such a passion,
But I zoned out a few sentences in
And responded with the most minimal interaction
Until I found a moment to break free
And sought out someone who'd share the stage;
We talked at length about cybersecurity
But I didn't realize you were disengaged.
There goes another little memory
That neither of us can share.
If I add mine up,
And add yours up,
Will it be enough to care?

18
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@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-02-13 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Death
- Lovers
title: Rose
layout: poetry
---
I thought my heart was broken,
Or its voice far too soft-spoken
Until I walked past by a grave.
It was normally unkempt and bare,
But today a rose sings it a prayer:
A somber song their lover gave.

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@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2020-06-21 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
title: Search Party
layout: poetry
---
You left to interrogate brain cells
On the whereabouts of Miss Happiness
And took the shot
The moment they muttered,
"I'm sorry, I haven't the foggiest."
It gave you quite the rush to see
Each cell meet its own maker
Which quickly borne a killing spree
With the question as its chaser.
You never did find Miss Happiness,
But you forgot why you even cared
And mistook her for your carelessness
Whilst so cognitively impaired.
All revelries meet their end, however,
Which took with it your revelation
Eliminating all of your leads
In the Miss Happiness investigation.

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@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-06-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Selection Bias
- Secularization
- Religion
title: Secularization Theory
layout: poetry
---
The infinite
Is out of range
Of the finite.
The ethereal
Is overshadowed
By the limelight.
It's expanding
Just beyond
Our peripheral vision.
Selection bias
Negates
The tool's precision.

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@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2017-07-20 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Falling Out
- Relationships
title: Signal Lost
layout: poetry
---
There's no reason for us to talk
As we discuss meteorological matters.
Our communal cup never fills up
For each time we lose touch, it shatters.
You see in me a man from before.
I see in you but a shallow shore
With a receding tide
Of our friendship folklore.
Is there nothing more?
I've tired of this one-sided conversation
So I'll retire and keep myself complacent
With an assuming posture
And twiddling of thumbs
With the occasional interjection
Of terribly clever puns.

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@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ tags:
- Introspective
- Silence
title: Silent Silas
layout: poetry
---
The windows to my soul

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@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2011-04-11 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- alliteration
- silence
title: Silent Sound
layout: poetry
---
Safely set inside this song
Are silent sounds we passed along.
Secret though we seek to know
Signs of its new secret show.
Silence hides up in the skies
Far from folks, cars, and lies.
It only lives to watch us die,
For that is when our souls arrive
And silent sounds are synthesized.

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@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2014-11-29 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
title: Sips of Serum
layout: poetry
---
Honesty is the best policy
If you're considered prodigy.
But I'm left a prodigal son
With money and meals my idolatry.
Spinning webs of lies
To hide the mess inside.
Donning the mask of Jekyll
As I sip the serum of Hyde.

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@@ -0,0 +1,30 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-02-06 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Dreams
- Late-Night
title: Sleep Paralysis
layout: poetry
---
The brain
Signaled
SHUTDOWN.
The mind
Couldn't
KEEP QUIET.
The eyes
Were left
ALL ALONE.
The body
Can't run;
CAN'T FIGHT IT.
Thoughts are now
RACING
Wheels are now
SPINNING
Fears turn to terror
And ask, "Who's winning?"

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@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-03-15 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Christianity
- Conviction
- Prayer
- Humor
title: Spaghetti
layout: poetry
---
A woman bowed down
Before her plate of spaghetti
To send God a prayer
He's heard a thousand times already.
But Jesus was in such
A mischievous mood
That He let the woman hear
What the Father thought of her food.
"There she goes again
With her cookie-cutter request
Full of empty words meant
To ensure her noodles are blessed."
But the woman quickly answered,
"There's no need to be so rude!
I will gladly recant the prayer
If I offended with my gratitude."
God then replied,
Caught by surprise,
"Sorry, it seems
My Son played a prank!
When words lose their meaning,
Good intentions are deceiving,
So now it's uncertain
Who's receiving your thanks.
People only speak to me
Before they eat and sleep.
Has it become impolite
To think on your feet?"

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@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2016-07-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- School
- Late-Night
- Homework
title: Spellchecker
layout: poetry
---
No one should be awake
At this time of night.
Nothing good can come
From what I'll try to write.
My vision's a bit blurred
As I try to type
So I'm not quite sure
If the keys I press are right,
But I've come this far
So I'll press on in spite.
Thank you, Spellchecker.
The overseer of my oversight.

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@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2021-07-30 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Advice
title: Take A Breather
layout: poetry
---
Disasters cannot happen
If anything is fine.
Lines cannot be crossed
If you don't draw a line.
Wishes do come true
If any change will do.
Pain loses its bite
If you enjoy the fight.
This makes sense at the surface,
But we shouldn't dull our senses.
Our suffering serves a purpose
So let's drop these false pretenses.
Sit with that sinking feeling
Until you reach its depths
To listen to its teachings;
Resurface to catch your breath.
Then look out to the horizon
To appreciate the view
Of all the potential futures;
You've a say in which comes true.

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@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2018-12-22 16:27:00 +0000
tags:
- Time
- Cars
- Advice
- Anger
title: Take Time
layout: poetry
---
The perma-pedestrian
Watched in awe
Of the passing cars.
Each driver longs
To extend their life
With Audis & Jaguars.
Each piston obeys
Thermodynamic law
Exploding every decisecond.
The law of inertia
Transfers heat to our heads
Upon braking at the intersection.
The human VROOMS.
Huffs and FUMES.
Shortcircuits- KaBOOMS!
The cycle repeats
Until there remains
No more lives to lose.

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@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@ tags:
- Relationships
- Realtalk
title: Thought Experiment
layout: poetry
---
Love is a free fall

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@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@ tags:
- Speech
- Verbal Abuse
title: Unintentional Internalization
layout: poetry
---
Our skin's as thick

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@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2019-07-24 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Religion
title: Unsettling Beliefs
layout: poetry
---
Once you believe that someone can right your wrongs,
That leaves room for war and atomic bombs.
Once you believe that your rewards lie in heaven,
That leaves room for real-life to place second.
Once you believe that it all happens for a reason,
That leaves room to equate all change with treason.
Once you believe that you're free to leave the faith,
That leaves room for you to re-open the case.

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@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2020-02-01 12:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
title: Unsolicited
layout: poetry
---
you shoulda, woulda
— or could ya shuddup?
i didn't, but isn't
that tangent fucked up?
just listen & envision;
decisions are tough.
the rocks in my shoes
are to you only dust.
i did what i've done
and i did it with love;
if that doesn't do,
don't tell me what does;
for advice without end
advises you to give up.
but i've learned to let live
to let you keep this up.

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@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2012-11-05 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Humor
- Realtalk
- Silence
title: Verbal Blunder
layout: poetry
---
No!
That was simply a slip of the tongue.
Is it too late for me to play along?
I fear I'm no longer as mysterious,
As wise, and as fearless
As I've implied myself to be.
I've revealed my true colors.
I'll soon be discovered;
This shall show my sheer stupidity!
'Tis time to hang up my hat and accept this mistake
Since it seems I don't quite have what it takes
To fool these fools how non-foolish I am.
If only things had gone according to plan,
For I have heard it said:
He who knows, does not speak.
He who speaks, does not know.
I had taken this to heart
And so my heart I would never show.

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@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-09-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Fate
- Christianity
- Realtalk
title: Wanderlust
layout: poetry
---
Do you still claim for there to be
No chance of a random possibility
Because our God planned out eternity?
But what good does that do
For the likes of me?
If you don't know the hand you're dealt
And faithfulness determines not your wealth,
Then why not loosen up your bible belt?
We can only ascertain
Our ascent
To heaven or hell.
The rain falls down on the wicked and the just.
We pack our bags and pray to God in whom we trust.
Our plans fall through as we return to dust
And beg our God
To cure
Our wanderlust.

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@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ date: 2013-05-10 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Realtalk
title: Who Am I?
layout: poetry
---
Am I the clothes on my back

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@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
---
categories:
- Poetry
date: 2015-10-25 00:00:00 +0000
tags:
- Relationships
- Clever
- New Years
title: You Are
layout: poetry
---
You're the rest of a phrase
On the tip of my tongue.
You're the forgotten hook
To a song I'd once sung.
You're the key to a lock
Hanging just out of reach.
You're the part of the lesson
Our professors couldn't teach.
You're the tough decision
My mind could never make.
You're the perfect chord
I would find by mistake.
You're the trivial problems
And their pseudo-solution.
You're the broken promise
Of my New Year's Resolution.

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@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
---
categories:
- blog
date: 2019-03-04 23:04:08 +0000
tags:
- Consciousness
title: Altered States Of Consciousness
year: 2019
layout: thoughts
---
I've been obsessed with neuroscience as of late. What follows are just a few points I found remarkable in my reading of <a href="https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/altered-states-consciousness">Altered States of Consciousness - Experiences Out of Time and Self</a> by Marc Wittmann.
In a life or death situation, it's quite blurry whether people truly experience time in slow motion, or if they only remember their emotionally-charged event that way. It's a difficult phenomenon to replicate in a laboratory setting for obvious reasons. Witmann's theory, however, is that precisely this "perception of bodily processes is connected to time consciousness". Their mind is fully-engaged and recording every detail of these precious moments. [p.11]
"Subjective time can be quantified [...] only by comparison with external factors." [p.19] As Whittmann explores later, this gives credence to the idea that the mind-body keeps track of time through the act of keeping tabs on itself. In Computer Science lingo, it "pings" for a response from the different areas of the body, which is part of the puzzle to produce subjective time.
With substance withdrawal, "one lives unhappily in the present, and one's relationship to the present is heightened." [p.22] There's a drastic overestimation of the passing of time.
The mystical is experienced by focusing primarily on the now, foregoing the past and future. On this subject, Wittmann also includes a dope Epicurus quote: "While we exist, death is not present, and when death is present we no longer exist."
Yet, don't be too obsessed with the present. Instead, the ideal "present" attitude is an "individual who is not predominantly oriented toward the past (unable to let go), toward the present (impulsively reward-oriented), or toward the future (purely deadline-oriented), but rather who can switch freely between time orientations, who can exercise temporal freedom." [p.43]
<img src="/imgs/urimpression.png" />
Protention: What we expect to experience.
Urimpression: What we experience now.
Retention: Memories not quite in the past; still held in the now.
Together, all three influence how the others are perceived. [p.48]
<a href="/imgs/time_chart.jpg"><img src="/imgs/time_chart.jpg" /></a>
<img src="/imgs/necker_cube.svg" style="background: #efefef" />
The "experienced moment" is best illustrated by the time it takes for the mind to switch perspective of the "necker cube" optical illusion.
Whittmann also presents a good bit of evidence that mindfulness meditation gives rise to time expansion, along with improved working memory. The theory is that if you are more aware of the moment, you remember more of your experienced moments, and thusly subjective time expands. [p.55] Most notably, experienced meditators can hold a perspective of the Necker Cube for longer, and were found to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4294119/">feel that the past few weeks/months passed more slowly compared to a control group</a>.
The mystical experience of "Timelessness" might perhaps be the experience of pure _urimpression_, untouched by preconceptions. Neither protention nor retention remains. No guide for the past or future. The self dissipates. [p.72]
"Boredom actually means that we find ourselves boring. It's the intensive self-reference: we are bored with ourselves. We are tired of ourselves." [p.85]
"There is no sense organ for time. Subjective time as a sense of self is a physically and emotionally felt wholeness of our entire self through time."[p.85] We can see this most clearly in studies of schizophrenia. The patients are "stuck" in the present. This disruption of perceived temporal flow collapses the self into "fragments of now." [p.99] Their "functional moment" lengthens. Their "experienced moment" is lost.

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@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
---
categories:
- blog
date: 2019-03-10 23:04:08 +0000
tags:
- Privacy
title: How To Not Get Hacked
year: 2019
draft: true
layout: thoughts
---
Alright, it's near the end of 2019. We've had plenty of time to figure out how to get rid of passwords. But we haven't. They're still here. So it's about time we admit that they're here to stay, and that we must better acquaint ourselves with them.
I'm here to make the case for _you_ to change a few of your digital habits. You will no longer <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Password_fatigue" target="_blank">release an exasperated sigh</a> when you see the dreaded "Sign Up" button for Yet Another Website. Your friends will no longer need to spend 15 minutes wrestling with your foggy memory to figure out your WiFi password, or perhaps your Netflix credentials, you dirty account-sharing lawbreakers. You will no longer need to hit the "Forgot Password" button for every site you only use once in a blue moon. Your hair will grow back and its color regain vibrancy. Your friends will respect you, and your enemies will fear you. Some of your friends will also fear you, but that's okay. They were always afraid.
Most importantly: You will no longer get hacked.
And no, I don't mean the kind where a friend posts a dumb status on your Facebook wall while you went to the bathroom. I mean the kind where you get a scary email that someone in Romania tried to access your Pinterest account at 2am EST. The kind where your computer starts to slow down and opens weird windows at random intervals. The kind where thousands of dollars were charged to your bank account, and you have to replace your credit card after proving the charges weren't made by you.
## Password Managers
## Footnotes
<span id="ref0">[0]</span> test

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---
categories:
- blog
date: 2019-03-10 23:04:08 +0000
tags:
title: Lol, Aren't I So Random?
year: 2019
layout: thoughts
---
How random do you think you are?<a href="#ref0">[0]</a>
On the surface, randomness seems pretty straight-forward. But it gets messy pretty quick once you try to pin down what it actually _is_. But before we dive down that <a href="#philosophy">philosophical rabbit hole</a>, let us first take a gander at this little t-shirt:
<a href="/imgs/illegal_rsa_shirt.jpg"><img src="/imgs/illegal_rsa_shirt.jpg" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" /></a>
### A Bit Too Cryptic
It used to be illegal to wear this shirt outside of the States. The math which we now depend on for logging into our bank accounts and securely processing credit card numbers was thought of as a military weapon. Why is that? Simply because it ensures that no outside parties can eavesdrop on your conversations. All of the information is _encrypted_, which means it looks like random gibberish in transit. The recipient, however, can _decrypt_ it to reveal what was written.
<p style="text-align: center"><img src='/imgs/cryption_graph.png' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' /><span style="font-size: x-small;">A real-world example of military-grade encryption put to good use.</span></p>
The usefulness of such technology in a military setting should be obvious. Conversely, it is obviously in our militant government's best interests that only they can use this technology - everyone else, both citizen and enemy, should ideally not have the ability to encrypt their messages. This way their communications can be intercepted, and any espionage may be thwarted. None of this technology is new; mankind has been utilizing encryption for as long as our written record can remember<a href="#ref1">[1]</a>. The only difference with the situation today is that our communications are nearly instantaneous, and the encryption is much tougher to break.
### A Bit Too Random
Alright, so maybe all of that is going a bit overboard. Let's say we're just developing a game. For the intro scene, you want the protagonist to feel absolutely helpless as she's surrounded by a torrent of randomly-placed enemies. Which of these distributions seem to pull that off the best?
<p style="text-align: center"><img src='/imgs/50_random.png' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Hmm, I think I can probably take em.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/imgs/50_distributed_quasirandom.png" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Welp, it was a good life while it lasted.</span></p>
Both have the same amount of red dots. A truly random distribution _could_ potentially look like the second image, but it's actually much more likely for it to have properties in the first image that seem anti-random to our pattern-seeking minds. How could those red dots cluster up like that? Paradoxically, it would seem that the first distribution is a bit _too random_. Instead, our game is in need of _evenly-distributed quasi-randomness_.
<p style="text-align: center"><a href="/imgs/quasi_random.gif"><img src="/imgs/quasi_random.gif" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" /></a>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I could watch an evenly-distributed quasi-random number generator all day</span></p>
This is almost _always_ the type of randomness you want, because it just seems so random to us. You're in a completely different ballgame, however, once you want your number generator to be so random, that no one is able to guess the next number it generates, _even if_ they already know every number its generated thus far. You probably have money or lives at stake here.
### Bits Byte Back
And so back to the military we go! One of the oldest and most commonly-known methods of encryption is called the <a href="https://www.xarg.org/tools/caesar-cipher/">Caesar Cipher</a>, named after Julius Caesar, who apparently used it for military matters. It was likely that his enemies were illiterate or would think his gibberish was a foreign language, so it was secure enough. Otherwise, it takes only 25 tries to guess the message correctly if you knew the methodology. Essentially, you'd choose a number, and then offset every letter in your message by that number. So if you chose 3, then all A's would become D's, all B's would become E's, and so on. Not only was it easy to figure out the number you offset everything by, but just like most other old-school ciphers, it quickly breaks under frequency analysis: some letters are used much more often than others in the English language, and some letters are much more likely to be found before/after certain letters (like 'u' following a 'q'). So once you see that the gibberish has a lot of H's and S's, you could try swapping those with perhaps A's, E's, or T's, and figure out the rest from there.
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/imgs/frequency_analysis.svg" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto; background:#efefef;" />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">After reading this, your mind will notice how many e's are in this article.</span></p>
We didn't really get too fancy with encryption until we could build machines to automate it all for us. Encryption was simply a lot of scrambling of words/letters, and making sure your recipient knows the trick to undo those operations. This then brings us to the legendary <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enigma_machine">Enigma Machine</a>, whose algorithm was first broken only due to operational errors, and was used with great success by Nazi Germany in WWII. Up until the era of the Enigma, cracking ciphers required mainly only linguistic and literary prowess. These machines and their increasingly complex algorithms took us deep into the mathematical realm as they resisted our older methods of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptanalysis">cryptanalysis</a>, like the aforementioned frequency analysis. This developed into a theory called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confusion_and_diffusion">Confusion and Diffusion</a> which details the two properties ciphers must have to be impervious to pure cryptanalysis. It should be noted that we're still using the same techniques of scrambling & substituting letters like in Ye Olden Days - machinery simply allows us to do many more complex patterns without too much work on the recipient's end to undo it.
### Speak 'Friend', Press Enter
Which finally brings us back to that t-shirt I showed you earlier! Basically, some smart dudes in the late 70's came up with the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RSA_(cryptosystem)">RSA algorithm</a>. Its security is based on the fact that it's really difficult to figure out <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factoring_problem">what two numbers constitute a very large composite number</a>.
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/imgs/rsa_algorithm.jpg" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Don't worry if this looks confusing. Just know that RSA's got maths.</span></p>
This algorithm gives you a public key which you can show to everyone, and then a private key which you keep only to yourself. Now if you wanted to talk to your homie Rivest, you'd look for his public key and use it to encrypt your message to him. Rivest then receives this encrypted message, and thanks to some unique mathematical properties of RSA, his private key is able to decrypt your message!
With sufficiently large RSA keys, it takes literally thousands of years for computers to crack it<a href="#ref2">[2]</a>. It's not just how long it takes to crack an RSA key that makes it so groundbreaking; we've had things like the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-time_pad">One-Time Pad</a>, which is truly uncrackable. No, it's the fact that you don't need to give your intended recipient a key beforehand. Imagine that your public key is essentially your house address, and everyone on the planet can now talk to you with complete security by simply looking you up on Yellow Pages.
## Cracking The Code
Let's take a quick look at the math that makes RSA so difficult to crack. The first thing you need to know is the concept of _Entropy_. If you search for the term, you'll probably get a lot of physics-related results; but it plays a huge role in the field of cryptography as well. In physics terms, entropy is how chaotic a given system is. i.e., an event is considered to have _0 bits of entropy_ if there's no chaos; we're absolutely certain of what's going to happen next. Conversely, an event is considered to have _1 bit of entropy_ if we're 50% certain of what's going to happen next, like whether a coin will land heads or tails.
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/imgs/entropy_alg.png" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Don't worry 'bout why we use this algorithm. Programmers and computers just like 1's and 0's.</span></p>
So let's say you're trying to figure out someone's password. You know it has uppercase, lowercase, and decimal characters. This means that one character in their password could be in 1 of 62 possible states (26 uppercase + 26 lowercase + 10 digits). You'd plug that number in our handy-dancy algorithm, and we get ~5.95 bits of entropy. Now let's say that you know this person's password is exactly 10 characters long. We can multiply the entropy of one character (~5.95) by the length of the password (10) to get us ~59.5 bits of entropy.
The importance of this number is that it allows us to easily figure out how crackable this password is. Let's check that number against this chart:
<p style="text-align: center"><a href="https://i.imgur.com/e3mGIFY.png"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/e3mGIFY.png" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" /></a>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">We're under the UPPER + lower + 0-9 column. Scroll down to 10 for our password length. Now to the right, you can see how much time it takes to crack, on average, depending on how many guesses the attacker can make per second.</span></p>
So if you can make 100 billion guesses per second, then on average, you can crack this password in somewhere between 33 days and 4.4 months. That's not too shabby. If you have access to the database <a href="https://haveibeenpwned.com/">(which is much more common than one might think)</a>, and they didn't use a good hashing algorithm to slow you down, then your target doesn't have much time to change their password before you can get into their account. Not only that, but people are prone to re-use passwords, so you can likely try your newly obtained username & password on different services your target might be using. Great work, black hat!
Now let's make more sense of these numbers. This 10 character password of ours could be in 1 of 839,299,365,868,340,200 possible states (i.e., 62 possible states per character, raised to the power of 10 for our password length). This means that, on average, you will need to try about half of those possibilities before you finally stumble across the correct one<a href="#ref3">[3]</a>. If you have a handful of Nvidia GTX 1080 GPU's working on the same password, then <a href="https://gist.github.com/epixoip/a83d38f412b4737e99bbef804a270c40">it can be cracked pretty much instantaneously</a> (with exceptions for databases using <a href="https://auth0.com/blog/hashing-in-action-understanding-bcrypt/">newer hashing algorithms specifically designed to thwart the parallelization of GPUs</a>).
To put RSA into perspective, data encrypted with 1024-bit RSA can be in 1 of ~3.2317 × 10^309 possible states. It took two years for researchers with many, many computers to <a href="https://thehackernews.com/2017/07/gnupg-libgcrypt-rsa-encryption.html">crack one of those keys</a>. For the curious, you can try out <a href="https://test.silentsilas.com/passgen/">my password generator</a> to interactively test the cracking speeds of various lengths/types of passwords. If it took a team of researchers two years to crack 1024 bits of entropy, imagine how fast you could crack it if you had the power of Big Brother in your hands!
### Randomness Is Tricky
Alright, so all this encryption stuff is cool and all. But let's tie this back in to the concept of randomness. You see, to generate keys for RSA and the like, we need to feed the key-generating algorithms strings of "randomness". It doesn't matter if you have 1024bit RSA keys if your attacker knows you always use the same numbers to generate them. In the real world, using a flawed number generator to produce keys will result in the encrypted data to not be as random as it should be; attackers can predict the output because the number generator has a few patterns that the attackers have picked up on.
And so to be a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptographically_secure_pseudorandom_number_generator">cryptographically-secure random number generator</a>, it only needs two properties:
<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">Uniformity</span> - each number is equally-probably to appear next. It's not more likely for a "7" to appear next compared to a "4", for instance.
<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">Independence</span> - Each number generated tells you nothing about any previous or future values. If a "7" appears, then that shouldn't mean there was definitely a "4" before it, or a non "7" number after it.
To determine if your number generator has these two properties, you run it through what is called the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next-bit_test">Next-Bit Test</a>. You'd have your number generator spit out 1's and 0's (which is what we call bits). If an attacker knows every bit that you've generated, it passes the test if they can't determine the next bit it generates without more than 50% accuracy. They should be wrong about half the time on whether it spits out a 1 or 0.
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/imgs/take_your_bets.png" style="display:block; margin: 0 auto;" />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">My money is on 1; 0 hasn't been doing too well this season.</span></p>
Ideally, you wouldn't want your source of randomness to come from a number generator at all. If the attacker knows your algorithm, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Random_seed">which values you first inputted into that algorithm</a>, then they can determine _every single number it generates_. Instead, you'd want to rely on getting your random values from chaotic systems outside of the computer. This could be the noise generated by the fan, your exact mouse movements, the times at which you press certain keys, and so on. It's hard to get tons of random values from these sources, since they're limited by time. So in the real world, we use a hybrid method to generate keys. First you get "truly random" numbers from outside the computer, and then use those numbers to initialize your number generator. This way, it's very difficult for an attacker to know which values you started with, and you're free to generate as much randomness as your transistors desire.
<span id="philosophy"></span>
### A Completely Random Bit
I could go on and on about randomness. Hopefully it's apparent that we need separate words for the different types of "random" that we use in life. In fact, all of the randomness I've spoken about thus far are technically "quasi-random." They're simply larger and larger levels of complexity. There's no such thing as truly "random," at least for anything we'll come across in our day-to-day lives. I'm not a physicist, but the following is my current understanding of how quantum mechanics plays into the matter.
True randomness can be derived from an indeterministic system, but we've yet to prove whether such a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indeterminism">system can exist</a>. Heisenburg's <a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/uncertainty-principle/media/614029/216617">Uncertainty Principle</a> is probably our best argument that quantum mechanics is an indeterministic system. It states that, at the subatomic level, "the more precisely the position of some particle is determined, the less precisely its momentum can be known, and vice versa."<a href="#ref4">[4]</a> Therefore it's impossible for us to know the state of every particle in the universe and "predict" the future. We could perhaps figure out a pretty likely future, but <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory">chaos theory</a> throws a wrench in that plan. The implications of this Uncertainty Principle <a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/God_does_not_play_dice_with_the_universe">freaked Einstein out</a>. He insisted that quantum mechanics is simply missing a local<a href="#ref5">[5]</a> hidden variable, and upon knowing that variable, we can then accurately predict quantum interactions. But it wasn't long before we hit another <a href="/imgs/epr_paradox.PNG">roadblock</a> with <a href="/imgs/bells_theorem.PNG">Bell's Theorem</a>, whereby no theory with local hidden variables can reproduce quantum mechanic's predictions. This means there's either something that can <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tachyon">travel faster than the speed of light</a> to influence these particles, or the underlying laws of the universe are truly indeterministic. I won't be <a href="/writes/wanderlust/">making any bets</a> on the matter. But in the meantime, we're good to use quantum (radioactive decay in particular) to generate random bits so long as it's undetermined whether quantum mechanics is indeterministic.
## Footnotes
<p><span id="ref0">[0]</span> <a href="https://www.expunctis.com/2019/03/07/Not-so-random.html">This interactive site</a> has you repeatedly press left or right, while the computer guesses what moves you make. There's also a button to have a pseudo-random algorithm choose for you, and it will assuredly fare better than you (unless you really know your math and feed it a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Bruijn_sequence">6-gram De Bruijn sequence</a>)</p>
<p><span id="ref1">[1]</span> You can even find encryption tips in an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mlecchita_vikalpa">ancient Hindu text</a> on sexuality. It seems that all is `****` in love and war.</p>
<p><span id="ref2">[2]</span> It should be noted that it's still unproven whether RSA's math is truly difficult to solve. Any day now, someone may come up with a mathemetical technique to quickly factor large numbers. Or we may develop a quantum computer with enough qubits to blow through every possible solution in a moment.</p>
<p><span id="ref3">[3]</span> If you're doubtful that anyone is out there trying to crack your password in particular, then let <a href="https://hashes.org/leaks.php">this site</a> be a sobering wake-up call; It's an entire community dedicated to cracking passwords from database leaks, including the most recent & legendary <a href="https://www.troyhunt.com/the-773-million-record-collection-1-data-reach/">Collection #1</a> leak. It's very, very likely that you have credentials in one of these leaks. You can see for yourself with Troy Hunt's <a href="https://haveibeenpwned.com/">Have I Been Pwned</a> service. It's a safe site; Troy Hunt is a well-known security researcher, and this service of his is built-in to the amazing 1Password app.</p>
<p><span id="ref4">[4]</span> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_principle">The Uncertainty Principle</a> - Should also be noted that this differs from the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_(physics)">Observer Effect</a>, wherein the act of observation disturbs the state of the particle (since the light we must use to observe the state interacts with it). Heisenburg himself originally thought his Uncertainty Principle was the mathematical explanation of the observer effect, but it's actually a mathematical explanation of how much information can be gleaned from the particle-wave duality, which we can now experientially test.</p>
<p><span id="ref5">[5]</span> Local, in this context, means it can only be influenced by its immediate surroundings. Nonlocality scares Einstein, because it means that _something_ can travel faster than the speed of light, breaking the theory of relativity. For more info, look up "Spooky Action At A Distance".</p>

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---
categories:
- blog
date: 2018-07-29 23:04:08 +0000
tags:
- Introduction
title: Silence Is Golden
year: 2018
layout: thoughts
---
Hey there! Welcome to <a href="/writes/silent-silas/">Silent Silas</a>. I write code during the day, and poetry at night. This is my playground.
This section in particular is where I'll discuss my terrible opinions on life, the universe, and the <a href="https://pastebin.com/raw/QUMSr4q5">objectification of humanity</a>.
For the web developers out there, this was built with <a href="https://kit.svelte.dev/">SvelteKit</a> via the <a href="https://threlte.xyz/">Threlte Framework</a> so that my web experiments that rely on ThreeJS can be hosted here. It'll eventually use <a href="https://github.com/GoogleChromeLabs/sw-toolbox">Service Workers</a> so that the entirety of the site is available offline.
As with most computer scientists, I stand on the <a href="/imgs/cs_abstraction.jpg">shoulders of giants</a>.
The code is on <a href="https://github.com/Poeticode/silentsilas.com">Github</a> under the MIT license (while the poetry is under a restrictive Creative Commons license).

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---
categories:
- blog
date: 2022-03-27 12:04:08 +0000
tags:
- tea
title: The Science of Tea
year: 2022
layout: thoughts
---
Tea is filled to the brim with a rich history spanning several millenia. We have historical documents which show that tea was produced and appreciated as early as 1,100 BC in southwest China<a href="#ref1" class="footnote-link">[1]</a>. And according to legends, it's believed that in 2737 BC, the servants of the mythic emperor Shennong were boiling water to remove its impurities for him to drink. A dead leaf from a tea bush fell in, and was presented to the emperor with its brownish color gone unnoticed. The emperor took a liking to the taste, and thus tea was born.
<p style="text-align: center; padding: 16px 0px;"><a target="_blank" href="/imgs/lithograph.jpg"><img src='/imgs/lithograph.jpg' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Photo-lithograph of the Huayang Guozhi—Bazhi, the oldest document to mention tea</span></p>
One might think it's simply a matter of plucking leaves and steeping them in hot water, akin to the legend, but every aspect of its production and preparation is nailed down to a science to chemically and biologically alter the leaves to produce the tastiest and least-bitter cup possible. In 760 CE, Lu Yu, an orphan adopted by a Buddhist monk (and promptly ran away to join the circus), dedicated years of his life to chronicle all of his knowledge on tea believing it to be an expression of the harmony and unity of the universe.
<figure>
<blockquote>A Thousand mountains will greet my departing friend,<br />
When the spring teas blossom again. <br />
With such breadth and wisdom, <br />
Serenely picking tea— <br />
Through morning mists <br />
Or crimson evening clouds— <br />
His solitary journey is my envy. <br />
We rendezvous at a remote mountain temple, <br />
Where we enjoy tea by a clear pebble fountain. <br />
In that silent night, <br />
Lit only by candlelight, <br />
I struck a marble bell— <br />
Its chime carrying me <br />
A hidden man <br />
Deep into thoughts of ages past.</blockquote>
<figcaption>—Huangfu Zeng (~700 CE), <cite>"The Day I Saw Lu Yu off to Pick Tea"</cite></figcaption>
</figure>
## Types of Tea
The most crucial aspect of harvesting tea, and what differentiates a green tea from a red tea (which is what the West calls black tea<a href="#ref2" class="footnote-link">[2]</a>, but will be refered to here as red tea from henceforth), is how long the leaves are oxidized. When the tea leaves are plucked and exposed to oxygen, their cell walls break down and gradually blacken in color. Through this process, the bitter polyphenols, catechins, are converted into less bitter polyphenols, tannins, which are richer and astringent, often giving a malty or fruity taste.<a href="#ref3" class="footnote-link">[3]</a>
Once the leaves reach the desired level of oxidization, they are heated up to stop the oxidization process, usually by steaming or roasting which has its own impact on how the tea will taste. Japanese green teas are generally steamed, which helps retain its green hue and vegetal taste, while Chinese green teas are roasted imparting a toasty flavor and a more yellow hue. Red teas are gently dried in the sun to reach the highest levels of oxidization without it going stale. A fun outlier is lapsang souchong, a chinese red tea roasted over a fire of pine, resulting in a very smoky aroma and taste.
<p style="text-align: center; padding: 16px 0px;"><a target="_blank" href="/imgs/tea_process.png"><img src='/imgs/tea_process.png' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' /></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">There are quite a lot of steps before tea makes it to your cup.</span></p>
<p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://wendigotea.com/products/bigfoot-tea">Red</a> teas are the most oxidized (80% - 95% oxidized). They are rolled upon plucking to damage them, speeding up the oxidization process. They can have the widest range of flavor, as less bitter catechins remain to mask the flavors picked up from their environment.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://wendigotea.com/products/wendigo-green-tea">Green</a> teas are the least oxidized (1% - 3% oxidized), and are heated up immediately after they're plucked. They taste vegetal and grassy, and are steeped at a lower water temperature to extract less of the bitter catechins.</p>
<p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://wendigotea.com/products/king-dragon-oolong">Oolong</a> teas have the broadest range of oxidization (10% to 80% oxidized). Consequently, their flavor widely varies. A less oxidized oolong will taste more vegetal and floral like a green tea, while one on the higher end of oxidization might be rich and malty like a red tea.</p>
<a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://wendigotea.com/products/skunk-ape-aged-oolong">Black</a> tea (again, not what the West calls black tea) brings an entirely new element to the mix. It's not determined by its level of oxidization, but whether the leaves are fermented. Microbes break down compounds in the leaves, altering their flavor profile. There are two different methods to age the tea. Raw black tea refers to the traditional method where you simply stow the tea away to slowly ferment over the years, peaking at roughly 50 years before the leaves begin to degrade. Ripe black tea refers to a new technique discovered in 1973, where the leaves are stored in large piles in a humid environment and splashed with water, turning them every other day for up to a month. They're then stowed away like a raw black tea, but peak in quality in only 20 years. These fermented teas tend to have a musty smell and taste earthier as the years go by. They are the aged wines of tea, and can be just as expensive.
<p style="text-align: center; padding: 16px 0px;"><a target="_blank" href="/imgs/black_tea.png"><img src='/imgs/black_tea.png' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Pu-erh is fermented tea from Yunnan, China</span></p>
CTC tea, or bagged tea, is what you'll find at your grocery store. They are crushed, teared, and curled by machinery into small pellets. It was invented in 1930 to meet the increasing demand for tea in a global economy. They tend to use low quality leaves, which are then stressed and heavily damaged by the CTC process, and take months before they land on a store's shelf, resulting in unavoidable bitterness that mask the more desirable flavors.
## Other Factors
Which season the tea is harvested plays a significant role in their quality. With a spring harvest, the leaves have weathered through winter and pick up a lot more flavors from their environment. With a late-spring/summer harvest, the tea plants grow rapidly, but have less time to capture as much flavor. For autumn harvests, the plants are dying as winter approaches and are the least desirable.
Sunlight exposure has its own chemical reaction that influences the taste of the tea. Exposure during growth lowers the amount of full/creamy-tasting amino acids. Gyokuro, the highest grade of Japanese green tea, must be harvested in the spring and partially shaded during growth.
There will also be differences in tea by their location, due to the climate they're grown in and which varietal of tea plant species they are. For example, teas grown in India generally produce a stronger red tea than those grown in the various provinces of China. There's even a relatively new varietal grown in Kenya called Purple Tea, named for their vibrant purple leaves.
And of course, the tea to water ratio, steeping time, and water temperature<a href="#ref4" class="footnote-link">[4]</a> are integral to getting the perfect cup of tea. Red teas are tougher due to their high oxidization and thus can be steeped at a boiling temperature for 3-5 minutes, extracting the most out of the leaves. Oolong can generally handle 190 - 200f, with green tea the most sensitive at 170 - 180f. If they're steeped for too long, more of the bitter catechins will be extracted and take over. This is also why it's important to be sure to filter out any small particulates of the leaves to prevent oversteeping. High quality leaves will have less "dust" you need to filter out due to their freshness and tenderness; the leaves turn more brittle as time passes.
## Gongfu Cha
To get the most out of your finest red or black tea, you can also try your hand at gongfu cha. It essentially means skillful brewing of tea, and is an artform in itself. Instead of the traditional Western method of brewing a teaspoon of tea in a cup's worth of water for a few minutes, you brew ~1.5 teaspoons of tea in half a cup of water and let it steep for only a few seconds<a href="#ref5" class="footnote-link">[5]</a>. This first steep opens up the leaves to bring out more flavor, but the liquor will be weak and unimpressive. It's only used to warm up your teaware before finally pouring it out. You then heat up the water again and steep the leaves for ~10 seconds, adding 10 to 15 seconds with each subsequential steep. You will be able to taste the different flavor profiles of the tea with every steep until you tire out the leaves and the strength of the flavors weaken.
<p style="text-align: center; padding: 16px 0px;"><a target="_blank" href="/imgs/gongfu.png"><img src='/imgs/gongfu.png' style='display:block; margin: 0 auto;' /></a><span style="font-size: small;">A slotted tray for gongfu cha, to capture the first discarded pour and any accidental spills.</span></p>
There's a lot more to be said on the production and preparation of tea, but hopefully this whets your appetite to dive into the world of loose leaf teas! If you're interested in giving it a try, I use this <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://wendigotea.com/collections/teaware/products/lucidity-brew-in-cup-with-stainless-infuser-lid-12-oz">single-serve cup infuser</a> on a daily basis.
## Footnotes
<p class="footnote"><a href="#" id="ref1" class="footnote-link">[1]</a> Found in the Huayang Guozhi—Bazhi - A local gazetter from ~350AD in southwest China consisting of biographies of various rulers, including King Wu of the Zhou Dynasty and his 1066 BC expedition against eight principalities, whereby tea was used as tribute offerings.</p>
<p class="footnote"><a href="#" id="ref2" class="footnote-link">[2]</a> The East classified their teas by the color of the liquid after it's brewed. It's thought that a simple mistranslation between western and eastern traders resulted in the West believing the distinction was based on the color of the leaves. To add to the confusion, red teas in the West are now associated with rooibos tea. And finally, there's debate on how oolong got its name (literally "black dragon"), but it's likely referring to the color and shape of the leaves, breaking the usual system of classification.</p>
<p class="footnote"><a href="#" id="ref3" class="footnote-link">[3]</a> Heavier polyphenols, known as tannins, taste less bitter than lighter ones like catechins. The reason for this is still a mystery to this day!</p>
<p class="footnote"><a href="#" id="ref4" class="footnote-link">[4]</a> It's also very important to use clean purified/spring water. You will notice a night and day difference in taste using filtered water versus unfiltered tap water. The hardness of tap water will simply make it taste funky.</p>
<p class="footnote"><a href="#" id="ref5" class="footnote-link">[5]</a> The ratio of tea to water actually varies by the shape of the tea leaves and whether it's compressed (which is common for fermented teas as they are stored this way), but these measurements should get you in the right ballpark. Ideally you should use a scale to measure the tea's weight, as teaspoons are unreliable to determine how much tea is in your cup.</p>

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@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
---
categories:
- blog
date: 2018-08-06 23:04:08 +0000
tags:
- Privacy
- Surveillance State
title: Whispers in the Wind
year: 2018
layout: thoughts
---
<div id="fingerprint" style="font-size: xx-small; padding-bottom: 20px;">
</div>
The information above is just a small snippet of your browser's fingerprint. It's the data that websites can collect about the device you're using. (They're also able to <span id="geolocation" style="color: #3cdc3c;cursor: pointer;">access your GPS</span> if you're silly enough to let them.)
At first glance, the data looks pretty innocuous. Who cares if people know what browser you're using, or what plugins you've installed? Is it the end of the world if they know that you're a Mac user?
Well, individually, the data _is_ indeed innocuous. The original purpose in giving site owners this information is so that they can adapt their application to better suit the device it's run on. My homepage animations, for instance, adapt to the size of the screen and whether it's run on a mobile or desktop device.
#### United, I am. Divided, Unknown.
Once you put all of the information together, however, there's a potential for misuse. It's very easy to be the only person on the digital planet running that exact version of browser on that exact OS with those exact plugins/fonts installed, et cetera.
Using this information, it's possible to <span id="uuid" style="color: #3cdc3c; cursor:pointer; overflow-wrap: break-word;">derive a Unique User Identification Number</span>[0] and use it to track you across the internet, regardless of where you're connecting from.
An advertisement network will check if they have this identification number. If they do, then that means that they already have a list of sites the user has previously visited, along with any other data they've determined about the user. This is then used to display ads relevant to your assumed interests.
This type of invasive tracking, on the other hand, is also used to flag suspicious activity with your online accounts. I'm sure you've encountered sites that require you to click a link in your email to verify that a new device was indeed you. This is a great and highly effective service to thwart malicious login attempts[1].
But it's hard to know what goes on behind the curtains. Those sites providing these security services could also be using that same personal information in many other ways. The EU's <a href="https://www.eugdpr.org/">GDPR</a> is supposed to ensure companies are transparent about what's done with such information, but it's difficult to enforce and easy to evade.
[0]: You put all the information together and run it through a 'hashing algorithm'. The same information will always result in the same string of numbers and letters. A slight change in this information (like if the user updates their browser) will result in a vastly different string, so additional work has to be done for this tracking to be effective.
<br />
A much more effective way to thwart malicious login attempts is to use a password manager so that you don't reuse passwords and/or use easy-to-guess passwords. But that's a post for another day.